Hozay In Hollywood

In a never ending effort to seek the truth, Hozay phones the Vatican to find out what the "H" really stands for... another pledge for financial support for the National Jock Itch Foundation reaches new heights and offers no gift in return for a monthly pledge... and in a moment of whimsy, Hozay offers his first three items on his bucket list.

The awarding of the prizes for the National Jock Itch Foundation raffle goes astray when the winners demanded alternative prizes.  Hozay and the Hammerhead debate the intrinsic value of swearing and they mock the, "over the top," strict (and galactically stupid) California laws requiring permits and licenses for letting sports fans park in your driveway.

With election expectations dramatically reduced, Hozay revels in the rise of income from the support groups at his fledgling National Jock Itch Foundation.  He's learning that interpersonal relationships come with a hefty price tag, and his brother announces his intention to release a 10 volume set of highly detailed, in depth books devoted solely to sandwich making.

Three days after Primary Election Day in California, there is still no declared winner in the Gubernor's runoff, but our hero valiantly presses on toward the real election in November as he attempts to hold a celebratory rally at a luxury Beverly Hills hotel, is thwarted due to a lack of money. He relives a childhood that found one of his Brothers to be emotionally unstable, nearly burning down the family home.

THIS WEEK, RECORDED LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS - Hozay is confident that he and his store bought friends will offer California voters a better, more equitable form of open political corruption.  His promise to insure that they truly enjoy themselves at taxpayers' expense rivals Gavin Newsom's 8 years of wasting billions with nothing to show for it.  This week plans include picking out new drapes for the Gubernor's office.

As California Election Day draws near, The Surprise Party and The Cocktail Party Candidate makes a final pitch knowing he has the Circus Freak vote sewn up, which in California is a majority constituency.  He counts on British Preppy Punk Rocker, Dead Lewis to sing his campaign song in hopes of helping to deliver him over the top.  Family members are trashed and he cleans up financially with his Jock Itch Support Group scam.

The Gubernatorial Candidate reveals there is a new lady in his life who is hopelessly addicted to Wheel Of Fortune. He accidentally stumbles into big money to be made in the emotional treatment of jock itch. Based on his Brothers' new book, "How To Make a Sandwich," he announces his idea for a TV show, "Celebrity Sandwich," in which "C" List celebs not heard from in decades re-appear and design their own gourmet sandwich while reminiscing about their glory days gone by.

This week finds mixed results, with the Surprise Party/Cocktail Party candidate for Gubernor spreading his wings attending strip clubs with long lost cousins, discovering he has been cut out of his father's will and his brothers' futile and failed attempt at promoting a stage show combining gangsta rap fans with the polka music crowd.

The National Jock Itch Foundation (NJIF) has moved its temporary headquarters to a Subway in Beverly Hills and announced a weekly support group for those afflicted with the heartbreak of jock itch. The Surprise Party and the Cocktail Party candidate for California's highest office once again missed out on the televised debate this week, claiming he intentionally passed up the chance to appear to let the current crop of mutants and morons slug it out. He is confident that he has the "circus sideshow freak" vote, a strong voting block here in California.

This week finds the Surprise Party and the Cocktail Party candidate for California Gubernor (Governor) offering thoughts on the loss of so many state residents.  In an effort to get free publicity, he is encouraged to trash a hotel room, hoping for local television stations to show him being taken into custody, but in a moment of generosity, he enters a busy Beverly Hills restaurant and buys a round of drinks for everybody in the place.  Sort of.